In this first blogpost of a 4-part series on self-regulation, I’ll cover: how children learn to self-regulate (both bring their intense emotions down, and control their behaviour) Do you struggle with your child’s intense emotions, or your own? Do you wonder if your child will ever learn to control his behaviour? We all want …
When your child has a tantrum or you’re at your wits end because of their behaviour, it’s tempting to focus on their behaviour. But it’s important to do your best to stay calm and connect first (unless safety is an issue). (It’s not always possible when you’re triggered, but that’s another post. The point here …
It may come as a surprise when suddenly–your teen gets irritated when you approve of their decision. You thought they’d feel supported. Here’s why. I was listening to a parent tell a story about their teen recently, and their story reminded me that when your teen is going through a phase of separating from you, …
How do you stop getting triggered by your kids? Or at least learn to get triggered less often, and become more of the calm, grounded parent you want to be? In this video I share the 3 main approaches to use if you want to learn how to be less reactive, stay calmer, and have …
When you have difficulty coping with your child’s difficult behaviour, sometimes you need to *level up* your ability to cope rather than expecting them to change. I realized that one day when my son was quite young. I was feeling irritated with him because he wasn’t cooperating, and I had a sudden “aha” moment realizing …
Sensitive spirited children march to the beat of their own drum. They’re often more intense, respond intensely to having limits set, and may not cooperate easily. In this video I share suggestions for building a cooperative and connected relationship.
Many people believe that connected parenting spoils a child, and that they end up being poorly behaved or unable to tolerate having limits set by parents and teachers. I especially hear this from the older generation, who are watching some of the younger generation parents try to learn connected parenting. They see the kids “running …
You can watch the video here, or read the transcript below Today I want to talk with you about one of the ways that you can raise a confident child, and this is especially true if they have anxiety. We often think (subconsciously) that we can help our children become more confident if we help …
Many inspirational speakers, coaches and other experts promote the belief: change your thoughts, change your life. However, this is a myth for most people who have experienced trauma–especially if you’ve had a tendency to be disconnected from your feelings. But if you believe that you *should* be able to be calmer and not get triggered …
How can you help your anxious child gain confidence when they’re reluctant or refusing to do something? Is it possible to build their confidence by pushing them to do it? Or do you empathize and let them off the hook so you don’t ramp up their anxiety? Some current literature suggests that if you let …
Image Credit: Unsplash, Giulia Bertelli When you feel as if you’re failing and you want to give up, you may just be in the messy middle, and in that moment, showing up for yourself is vital because this is where the *magic* happens. You know those moments when your child or teen says something angry …
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I gratefully acknowledge that I live and work on the traditional territories of the Coast Salish people.
