In this first blogpost of a 4-part series on self-regulation, I’ll cover: how children learn to self-regulate (both bring their intense emotions down, and control their behaviour) Do you struggle with your child’s intense emotions, or your own? Do you wonder if your child will ever learn to control his behaviour? We all want …
Sensitive spirited children march to the beat of their own drum. They’re often more intense, respond intensely to having limits set, and may not cooperate easily. In this video I share suggestions for building a cooperative and connected relationship.
Many people believe that connected parenting spoils a child, and that they end up being poorly behaved or unable to tolerate having limits set by parents and teachers. I especially hear this from the older generation, who are watching some of the younger generation parents try to learn connected parenting. They see the kids “running …
You can watch the video here, or read the transcript below Today I want to talk with you about one of the ways that you can raise a confident child, and this is especially true if they have anxiety. We often think (subconsciously) that we can help our children become more confident if we help …
Many inspirational speakers, coaches and other experts promote the belief: change your thoughts, change your life. However, this is a myth for most people who have experienced trauma–especially if you’ve had a tendency to be disconnected from your feelings. But if you believe that you *should* be able to be calmer and not get triggered …
How can you help your anxious child gain confidence when they’re reluctant or refusing to do something? Is it possible to build their confidence by pushing them to do it? Or do you empathize and let them off the hook so you don’t ramp up their anxiety? Some current literature suggests that if you let …
Image Credit: Unsplash, Giulia Bertelli When you feel as if you’re failing and you want to give up, you may just be in the messy middle, and in that moment, showing up for yourself is vital because this is where the *magic* happens. You know those moments when your child or teen says something angry …
It’s distressing when your child is hard on themselves or is reluctant to try a new activity because they’re worried they can’t do it even before trying. We want our kids to be accepting of themselves, and to “cut themselves some slack” when they feel they’ve fallen short. We also want them to have the …
I’ve commonly heard parents say that they “dread” the teen years–anticipating rebellion, risky behaviour, and a host of other big energies and emotions. Connecting to your rebellious teen takes new skills, especially if you grew up in an authoritarian home, have past trauma, or were a rebellious teen yourself. I looked forward to parenting a …
Is authentic respect from your child “deserved” or “earned”? (And by “authentic” respect, I mean respect that they offer genuinely, without being asked.) I believe that it’s neither deserved or earned, and that both of those beliefs can get in the way of teaching your child authentic respect. Many parents feel (understandably) upset when their …
Sometimes we lament: “I’ve told my child a hundred times? Why don’t they learn?” The problem usually lies with an old outdated belief that we’re completely unaware of. Outdated (false) belief: Once you’ve “taught” your child appropriate behaviour by telling them what they should do, they now “know” it and can use the information …
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I gratefully acknowledge that I live and work on the traditional territories of the Coast Salish people.
