It can be tempting to let go of a teen who suddenly seems to be rebelling and resisting against everything. But they need us to hold on more than ever. When our teens rebel with big energy, we sometimes buy into the widespread belief that there isn’t anything we can do to help, and so …
Read more17 Strategies for Staying Connected to Your (Rebellious) Teen
Photo Credit: Ulriki Mai When I tried to stop using reward and punishments, my son totally ignored most things I asked him to do. I was SO frustrated, and couldn’t figure out why the strategies I was learning in books weren’t working. I now know that I hadn’t yet learned the other skills I needed …
Read moreHow to Get Your Kids to Listen Without Rewards and Threats
The holiday season is almost upon us, and with the busy-ness of the season, sometimes kids are more prone to tantrums or emotional outbursts. Here are some strategies for calming your child’s tantrums with skill and confidence, and also for preventing them over the holiday season. The strategies not only help calm your child in-the-moment, …
Read moreParenting Strategies for Tantrums that Will Make Your Holidays More Peaceful
I’ve always cringed at the idea of telling my son to “be nice” or to “be good” because to me, those instructions are intended to get your child to change his behavior to meet someone else’s approval, regardless of how he’s feeling or what he needs. Perhaps that’s not every parent’s intention, but because my …
Read moreWhy Teaching Your Kids to “Be Nice” Blocks Their Empathy
As parents, we want our kids to be authentic—to recognize their unique gifts and use them to create a meaningful life for themselves, rather than caving in to peer pressure because they lack confidence or don’t set boundaries. Perfectionism makes it difficult for our children to set boundaries and be their authentic selves because perfectionists …
If you have difficulty settling your child at bedtime because he’s hyperactive or excited, this game will help bring him into a more regulated state conducive to sleep. It can also help calm him after a tantrum, or when he’s emotionally distraught or unable to control his behaviour. This game helps you to tap directly …
Read moreHow to Calm Your Child at Bedtime: One Simple Practice
On days when it feels like your relationship with your child is falling apart, a strong foundational parent-child connection makes your relationship resilient enough to endure the conflict, and enables you to repair with more ease. All parents need a “tool kit” that contains simple regular daily practices for building a deep connection with their …
I read an article* about the new video game, Fortnite, the other day. According to the article, the game has some parents worried because their kids seem to have more difficulty turning it off than other video games. It prompted me to jot down a few tips to support you and your kids as you …
Photo Credit: Rafael Ben-Ari – New Zealand In the last blogpost, I talked about how important it is to be able to regulate ourselves as parents (or teachers), because our children learn to self-regulate through interactions with parents/teachers/caregivers whose nervous systems are balanced. In this post, I’ll share how nervous system regulation affects learning. We often believe …
In this first blogpost of a 4-part series on self-regulation, I’ll cover: how children learn to self-regulate (both bring their intense emotions down, and control their behaviour) Do you struggle with your child’s intense emotions, or your own? Do you wonder if your child will ever learn to control his behaviour? We all want …
Read moreSelf-regulation: When will my child learn? (The real scoop)