Is authentic respect from your child “deserved” or “earned”? (And by “authentic” respect, I mean respect that they offer genuinely, without being asked.) I believe that it’s neither deserved or earned, and that both of those beliefs can get in the way of teaching your child authentic respect. Many parents feel (understandably) upset when their …
Sometimes we lament: “I’ve told my child a hundred times? Why don’t they learn?” The problem usually lies with an old outdated belief that we’re completely unaware of. Outdated (false) belief: Once you’ve “taught” your child appropriate behaviour by telling them what they should do, they now “know” it and can use the information …
When my son was young, I started the school year every year with a letter to the teacher. The intention was to help my sensitive child connect with the teacher early on, plus ensure that he’d have the support he needed for any challenges. In hindsight, I think it helped even more than I realized …
When parenting a teen, I was prepared for rebellion, conflict and conversations about deep topics that we didn’t always agree on–but not grief. In fact, I was completely unprepared for the grief. When your teen gets to the stage of insisting that they can make their own decisions, I think that some parents believe it’s …
If your sensitive or perfectionist child won’t admit they’re wrong despite evidence, it’s a sign of shame. Here’s what you can do to change the pattern. Instead of focusing on getting them to admit they’re wrong, focus on their feelings and experience. Often when a child is wrong, they realize it during your discussion–especially if …
When your spirited teen won’t listen and you know they’re going to do what they want anyways, use these tips to help keep them safe. Sometimes you just know in your gut that even though you’ve explained the risks to your teen and told them you don’t want them to do something, they’re going to …
If you want to connect with your teen and teach them follow their own heart and instincts (rather than their peers), start preparing when they’re young by teaching them to stay connected to their feelings and body. One of the practices that has helped me the most when my son got to his teen years, …
When your teen won’t listen, anxiety can skyrocket. Just when your teen gets to the age where they decide to take more risks –they’re also reluctant to listen. And the reality is, they often find ways to do what they want regardless of what you say. However– You can often gain the privilege of being …
(Recovering) perfectionist parents may have difficulty teaching their kids to set boundaries because of their own tendency to people-please. But teaching boundaries is essential for your child’s safety, so that they gain the confidence to say, “No”. An important strategy you can use, starting when your child is very young, is to say “no” on …
When your child behaves inappropriately, it’s easy to go straight to the thought, “They’re behaving like this because I’ve failed them. I’m a bad parent.” But you haven’t. This fear is especially common for (recovering) perfectionist parents, and can stop us from helping our kids improve their behavior and confidence. The tendency to feel like …
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I gratefully acknowledge that I live and work on the traditional territories of the Coast Salish people.
