Self-study online Course
Raising Confident Kids:
Help Your Child Develop Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence
We all want our kids to have good self-esteem and the ability to form and keep healthy relationships.
We want them to have the self-confidence to be successful in school and social situations, and to be “themselves” despite peer pressure.
So it’s painful to watch them begin to judge themselves, use self-hate language, or feel too anxious to confidently make friends at school or camp—especially when their gifts and strengths are so obvious to us.
And if you’ve ever tried to reassure your child who’s being hard on themselves that what they’re saying isn’t true (“But sweetie, your curly hair is beautiful!), I don’t have to tell you that it never works. They don’t believe you, and often become even more upset when you’ve disagreed with them.
Your child’s sensitivity and low self-esteem behaviours aren’t flaws; they’re communication. I can help you understand what they mean.
Practical strategies for self-esteem issues
This online course, Raising Confident Kids: Help Your Kids Develop Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence, was designed to give you concrete strategies to help your child who is struggling with one or more of these issues:
- Being hard on themselves ("I'm no good at swimming")
- Using low self-esteem statements or negative talk (“I’m just stupid”, “Nobody likes me”)
- Anxiety and/or reluctance to try new activities
- Thinking they "can't do it" even before trying a new activity or joining a social group
- Getting embarrassed or ashamed (hides, won't talk to you) when you gently correct their behavior
- Comparing themselves to others and feeling "not good enough" in comparison
- Having a fierce competitive streak coupled with emotional outbursts when they "lose" what they're competing for (a game, a place in the lineup, being the first one to the swing),
- Getting angry when another child receives a compliment.
- Needing constant reassurance and validation.
Sometimes they may even refuse to talk with you about their emotional outbursts or mistakes later, making it difficult for you to know how to help them learn coping strategies for the future.
In this course, you’ll learn:
- How self-esteem develops – a beginning understanding
- Where the harsh, self-critical language comes from – knowing where the behaviour comes from and understanding why they do it helps us know what to do differently to change it.
- Scripts and substitute phrases:
- To respond to your child’s harsh judgmental or self-hate talk in a way that comforts them and begins to turn the situation around
- To help your child learn perseverance when they are too anxious to try something new or want to quit.
- Concrete, simple practices to build “real” self-esteem, that you can use regularly, anytime, anywhere. I’m talking about the kind of quiet self-confidence that comes from trusting yourself, not a superficial confidence or bravado in which kids use their power over others because they’re insecure.
- Strategies and tips to help your child build social skills for school. Let’s face it. School, new teachers and peer groups–they’re almost always anxiety-producing for all kids, but especially for our sensitive kids who feel everything.
- You’ll also receive a copy of my e-book, Freeing Your Child from Self-Criticism and Perfectionism.
This course provides solid, simple practices that you can use regularly to help nurture your child's self-esteem and self-confidence.
Kids’ with self-confidence have an advantage in life
I know how worrisome it is to see your child showing signs of low self-esteem. I’ve been there. And we know that kids with a strong self-esteem and self-confidence fare so much better in school, relationships, and in their work life once they become adults.
The research is clear that relationships of all types are harder when kids are in a high state of anxiety, fear, shame or guilt.
Understanding why a child behaves in a certain way helps us identify the root cause and the child’s need. From there, we can create practical strategies to meet their needs and support them to gain confidence in themselves.
What parents are saying...
“The scripts and suggestions for what to say to my child have been so helpful. When I use them, my child recovers a lot more quickly from their negativity. They don’t get stuck in it for so long anymore.”
“My kids are sharing more with me than they did before.”
“My son isn’t getting so upset when I correct his behavior anymore. The words I’m using seem to soothe and reassure him. Also, when he gets upset, he recovers from it faster.”
“I’ve been using the strategies I learned and it’s making a big difference. My child is opening up a lot more, and it’s been great!”
“We feel more connected”
“I came to Colleen for help with my child’s self-criticism and learning to regulate herself. After doing some sessions with Colleen, I feel more confident and have the skills to use in these situations. I know what to say to help her calm when she's comparing herself, and have new skills for identifying what she needs. As a result, she’s getting better at regulating herself with my support. Our sessions also helped me fine-tune my approach for speaking with her teachers which has helped me to successfully advocate for her and ensure she gets her needs met. I’ve been excited because my child has been coming to me and sharing her feelings more than she did before, and I’m feeling more connected to her.”
— MB, Mom of 5yo and 2yo
Who is the course for?
This course will be a good fit for you if you’re the parent of a sensitive child who’s struggling with self-esteem and self-confidence, and:
- You want to parent peacefully, gently and respectfully
- You may be a recovering perfectionist yourself, and you want to break the cycle in your family
- You tend to be an alternative thinker, not always following the "mainstream"
- You know that parenting a child is a journey of personal and spiritual growth
- You want to have a connected relationship with your child, and to have a cooperative relationship with them, rather than using threats and punishment
- You're on a journey to live a heart-centered authentic life, and you want that for your child as well.
In this course, you receive:
content
— ~3.5hr of video or audio recordings that include explanations for how self-esteem and self-confidence develop, common parenting approaches that undermine self-confidence and self-esteem, and lots of practical strategies for what you can do differently.
— A 35-page Guidebook that contains:
- Class Notes summarizing the key concepts (no need to take notes unless you want to),
- Reflection questions and exercises to enhance your self-awareness and help you apply the learning to you and your child,
- Practical Strategies and Suggested “Scripts” for responding differently to your child or teen, to support their development of self-confidence, self-awareness, and self-compassion.
resources
— Organizational Checklist: A detailed checklist for staying organized and keeping track of your progress in the course.
— Freeing Your Child from Self-Criticism and Perfectionism: a copy of the e-book.
— *Personalized Guidance (this is specifically for parents who choose the option below that includes a 1:1 session): A 60 minute zoom call with Colleen to share specific details about your parenting challenges, and get suggestions and support for how to apply the course knowledge to make changes.
Course Availability
Online Course
This option is suited to parents who feel confident they can apply the new knowledge without any coaching guidance
OR
For parents who want consistent support to make some bigger changes, you can purchase this option plus a 2 month coaching package which includes email support in between sessions.
*See FAQ below for additional detailed information.
Course + 1:1 Coaching
Course plus personalized coaching:
This option includes one 60min 1:1 coaching session with Colleen
It’s suited to parents who would like personal coaching guidance from Colleen on how to apply what they’ve learned to their specific parenting challenges.
*See FAQ below for additional detailed information.
about colleen adrian
Why learn from me?
I’m a parent coach, educator, author, and speaker. I’m a mom and a stepmom. I have a Masters degree in Nursing, and I switched careers to researching and writing about parenting after I had my son in 2003.
I’m passionate about supporting kids to have the courage to be themselves and express their unique gifts rather than conforming to peer and social pressures.
Our world *needs* more of these authentic, heart-centered humans.
My book, Freeing Your Child from Self-Criticism and Perfectionism (2018), is based on my research and experience of gaining insight to my own self-criticism and perfectionism. I learned what I had to change about my parenting style to stop the intergenerational patterns of shame, blame and perfectionism. I’ve drawn on current research and literature in the fields of psychology, neuroscience, trauma, spirituality, and the 8 shields model to create a unique perspective in my courses and book.
I’ve offered this course over the past 4 years as a live in-person workshop for parent groups; I’m now offering it online so parents can get access to the strategies year-round. I hope you’ll enjoy it!
FAQs
There are 3 Sessions (or Modules), and each session will take up to approximately 2hr to complete.
(The video/audio for each Session is just over 1hr, and you’ll likely need another 30-60min to do the reflection exercises and choose strategies to practice with your child.)
You can work at your own pace, and do the learning over a few weeks, or complete it within 2 -3 weeks.
When the course is offered live, it’s offered weekly over 3 weeks.
All situations are different, however, most parents that I work with notice some changes quite quickly once they’ve learned some new strategies for responding to their child, and they often feel a stronger connection and less resistance from their child almost immediately. Having said that, all kids and parents are different, and it depends somewhat on how old your child is, their temperament, and both yours and your child’s past experiences.
Also, the process of developing a healthy self-esteem and self confidence is something that always happens over the longer term, and the practices you’ll learn in the course can be used by you over time to help support your child with this.
I encourage you to share the videos and guidebook from this program with your partner and/or co-parent so you can be consistent in your approach with your children.
*Other than your partner or co-parent, I ask that you keep the links and course content private, as this course is part of how I make my living. Thank you
Yes! You’ll receive the links to start the course as soon as you register, and also the link to download the e-book.
I recommend starting with the course content. Everything you need to make changes is in the course content, and the e-book provides additional depth and understanding.
The course content provides strategies you can use with children of any age, including teens and young adults.
I also get a lot of feedback from parents that the strategies and approaches are also potentially helpful in all relationships, including your relationships with other adults, because they help with meeting people’s basic need to feel empathy and “understood” by others.
Yes. If you aren’t satisfied with the course, you can get a full refund.
I can share with you what I’ve seen over the past few years of teaching this course live, to help you make a good decision for your situation.
An occasional parent doesn’t need to ask questions, but most do. If you feel as if you only need a few small “tweaks” to your parenting approach, you may find you can apply these strategies without coaching.
Most parents have been stuck and struggling for a while, and they have at least 1 or 2 challenging issues and want help for how to apply the material to their specific situation. For all of us, it’s hard to see our own “blind spots”, and having a set of “outside eyes” can help you see the situation in a new light. In addition, I often help parents with finding words and phrases to use that are specific to their situation.
After offering this program a few times now, I’ve discovered that it’s difficult to find a time that’s convenient for all parents to attend, given that people have varying schedules for work, kids’ bedtimes, sports and family activities.
The current format offers the convenience of listening to content when you have childcare available or your kids are in bed, and the option to purchase it with a 1:1 session or a 2 month coaching package if you want additional support.
If you’re craving group support, send me an email to let me know–I love to create programs in response to what you need. Also watch my newsletters for drop-in Q&A calls or group programs.
If you have a technical question or any difficulty accessing the course materials, please email me at colleen@colleenadrian.com
You can also email me if you encounter something in the content that isn’t clear to you–I’d be happy to clarify.
If you have a question about how to apply your new knowledge to your situation and you’ve purchased the option with a 1:1 session with me, write your questions down and bring them to the 1:1 session.
If you haven’t purchased a 1:1 cooaching session, but you think you might need help applying the new knowledge, you can book a 1:1 session to get help with your situation. Use the links on this page to schedule a session.
(I offer 1:1 session for $95/hr, or coaching packages which have a reduced hourly rate + email support in between).
If you have more questions, please email me at colleen@colleenadrian.com
