We often aim to help our kids feel happy, and there’s nothing wrong with wanting that. However, if we want to raise heart-centered empathic human beings, we need to aim for helping them FEEL—all feelings—happiness, sadness, anger, grief, all of them—not only happiness. The ability to feel is what makes children and all humans capable …
Some of my most despairing parenting moments have been when I yelled, blamed, or criticized my son, and then felt like a complete failure when his face fell, or his shoulders slumped as he realized he didn’t live up to my expectations. I felt crushed, thinking that I might have done irreparable damage. It’s painful …
I hear lots of parents talking about how their kids are resisting “home schooling” right now in this pandemic situation. Some parents are frustrated; other are worried or distraught. Some are completely at the end of their rope. I get it. You’re not alone. I have a few thoughts that will hopefully set your mind …
Dear Parents: During this time of stress and change, please care for yourselves well so that your children can feel “calm” and “safety” exuding from you. ♡ With all the changes in our daily lives because of the coronavirus, and many parents finding themselves at home with kids—either trying to work with kids around, or …
It’s always the parent’s (or teacher’s) job to take responsibility for creating connection with a child; it’s never the child’s responsibility to initiate connection. I see this get turned around sometimes, when parents or teachers use a child’s behaviour to justify their own disconnecting actions. For instance, a child speaks “rudely” to the parent or …
It can be tempting to let go of your rebellious teenager who suddenly seems to be pushing you away, refusing your suggestions, and ignoring your advice for staying safe. But they need us to hold on more than ever. When our teens rebel with big energy, we sometimes buy into the widespread belief that there …
Photo Credit: Ulriki Mai When I tried to stop using reward and punishments, my son totally ignored most things I asked him to do. I was SO frustrated, and couldn’t figure out why the strategies I was learning in books weren’t working. I now know that I hadn’t yet learned the other skills I needed …
The holiday season is almost upon us, and with the busy-ness of the season, sometimes kids are more prone to tantrums or emotional outbursts. Here are some strategies for calming your child’s tantrums with skill and confidence, and also for preventing them over the holiday season. The strategies not only help calm your child in-the-moment, …
I’ve always cringed at the idea of telling my son to “be nice” or to “be good” because to me, those instructions are intended to get your child to change his behavior to meet someone else’s approval, regardless of how he’s feeling or what he needs. Perhaps that’s not every parent’s intention, but because my …
As parents, we want our kids to be authentic—to recognize their unique gifts and use them to create a meaningful life for themselves, rather than caving in to peer pressure because they lack confidence or don’t set boundaries. Perfectionism makes it difficult for our children to set boundaries and be their authentic selves because perfectionists …